People have been meditating for thousands of years, often as part of a spiritual practice. In more recent years, mindfulness has become a popular way to help people manage their stress and improve their overall well-being, and a wealth of research shows it’s effective.
Psychologists have found that mindfulness training combined with mindfulness meditation changes our brain and biology in positive ways, improving mental and physical health. But even with all of this evidence of how great meditation can be for us, it is often an intimidating and misunderstood undertaking.
My first experience meditating was a bit confusing to say the least. I was at a health and healing arts fair. The vendors ranged from reflexology and massage therapists to booths that sold herbs, vitamins, crystals and essential oils, as well as aura, tarot card and palm readers.
When my friend Joe, from work, who invited me to go along with him to the fair said that he was signing up for the group meditation, I decided to join him, as I was curious how that worked. Since I had no previous experience, I decided this would be the perfect opportunity to find out.
At the designated time, we all filed into a room filled with folding chairs that were arranged in rows. We picked our seats and the leader of the group sat in a chair in front of us and said “let’s begin” with no other introductions or instructions.
So, I closed my eyes, because that is what everyone else did, and I sat there wondering what I was supposed to be doing. I kept opening my eyes to check on everyone else, and they all continued to sit quietly with their eyes closed. I tried not to feel out of place and uncomfortable, and I told myself I would not be getting the nervous giggles as I saw a smirk on Joe’s face, because he caught me looking around the room with only one eye closed. I think he sensed my restlessness and decided to check on me.
After what felt like a lifetime, but was probably closer to 15 minutes, the man sitting in the chair facing the group said “we are done” and he started to quickly move towards the door. A woman in the group said “shall we close?” and he responded over his shoulder, “we’re closed” and he left the room as if he was running late for something.
As Joe and I made our way to the door, he made a comment on how embarrassing that was. I did not reply to his assessment or ask him any questions about it, because I felt like such an imposter, so I just pretended that I understood. And I was still curious about how to meditate.
That was in 1994, and I can honestly say, I have come a long way since then. That experience has been part of the inspiration for me to teach meditation. It also influenced me to learn how to do it properly with a meditation teacher, which eventually led to a daily meditation practice which has been going strong since 2012. Full disclosure, in case you are not paying attention to the math…it took me a while.
Meditation can be defined in many ways. A simple way to think of it is training your attention to achieve a mental state of calm concentration and positive emotions.
Mindfulness is one of the most popular meditation techniques. It has two main parts: attention and acceptance.
The attention piece is about tuning into your experiences to focus on what’s happening in the present moment. It typically involves directing your awareness to your breath, your thoughts, the physical sensations in your body and the feelings you are experiencing.
The acceptance piece involves observing those feelings and sensations without judgment. Instead of responding or reacting negatively to those thoughts or feelings, you aim to note them and let them go.
It is important to understand that there is no expectation of anyone being able to maintain a constant focus on one thing, such as your breathing. The idea is to bring your attention back to the breath every time it wanders off.
It takes daily practice to feel like you’re getting the hang of it, and needing some assistance by asking for directions or help with gaining a better understanding of meditation is to be expected. One thing is for sure, the commitment is worth it, because the benefits are great and truly outweigh the initial discomfort of feeling like a fake or a phony.